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Birthday weekend
Jun. 8th, 2025 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceitfiannaThis weekend was lovely, my parents and I headed out to Gloucester for the Peabody Essex museum, Hammond Castle and getting rained on a lot, but it was a nice break. Today started early and I ended up actually having a quiet day after getting on the road as I've felt sick most of the day. Which is annoying as today is my actual birthday but I'm from a family where birthdays spread out.
I have things that will make it last in great ways like a Lego to put together and money to spend on books and other fun stuff. I'm tired but hopeful as I watch the Tonys and head into my next year.
I have things that will make it last in great ways like a Lego to put together and money to spend on books and other fun stuff. I'm tired but hopeful as I watch the Tonys and head into my next year.
Saints Ahoy - Game 25 and the 2024 season to date
Jun. 11th, 2025 08:57 pmredfiona99Game 25 in 2024 was an unfortunate loss to Hull KR - https://www.saintsrlfc.com/matches/2024/first-team/saints-v-hull-kr-2024-08-24-2/?swcfpc=1
I don't care that Hull KR were the coming force, I don't like losing to them. Blake getting a yellow card and then Makinson getting a red didn't help, although I'm pleased that Whitby got his first try and conversion (and on his debut too).
The game-specific figures don't really add much so I'm not sharing them.
Whitby's two point-scoring moments move him to the bottom of the middle of the "who scores for Saints?" diagram.
( Under the cut )
That might be a bad sign that either Saints's scoring pool wasn't diverse in 2024, or that they needed to score more points.
When do Saints score?
( Under the cut )
That Saints didn't score while Blake or Makinson were off the pitch due to their cards means they maintain their positions on the "Who is present when Saints score?" chart.
( Under the cut )
The matrix chart is back to being dark in one corner (bottom right) fading as it goes up and left.
( Under the cut )
The network graph, interestingly, doesn't quite match. Whitby and Vaughan aren't present on the network graph, and Bennison is clearly outside the "frequently plays together" central blob, while he's in the second darkest area of the matrix chart. Davies has moved the other way.
In an amusing coincidence, both matches vs Hull KR in 2024 featured Hull KR having the same number of point-scoring moments.
( Bar chart under the cut )
When do Saints concede?
The evidence for "in the last 10 minutes" is really building up.
( Underneath the cut )
Who is present when Saints concede?
( Under the cut )
Understandably, because he is also present for the most scoring moments, Blake is top of this chart. There's a large drop off until you hit Lomax in second.
The "who is present when Saints concede" matrix looks like the top left quadrant of a Roman mosaic of the sun. If nothing else, it's pretty.
I think it looks like that because of how often Blake played with some of the "second most frequently playing" cluster of players (Robertson, Davies, Ritson, Vaughan, Stephens, Paasi, Batchelor, Knowles and Bennison).
The network graph is less spread out than equivalent one for point-scoring moments, with most players being in the central blob. The players that stick out are Wingfield, Walmsley, Royle, Whitby and Burns. Although there are a ring of players that are either coming out of the main blob or being eaten by it (Knowles, Bennison, Batchelor, Vaughan, Paasi, Stephens and Davies)
( Network graph under the cut )
I don't care that Hull KR were the coming force, I don't like losing to them. Blake getting a yellow card and then Makinson getting a red didn't help, although I'm pleased that Whitby got his first try and conversion (and on his debut too).
The game-specific figures don't really add much so I'm not sharing them.
Whitby's two point-scoring moments move him to the bottom of the middle of the "who scores for Saints?" diagram.
( Under the cut )
That might be a bad sign that either Saints's scoring pool wasn't diverse in 2024, or that they needed to score more points.
When do Saints score?
( Under the cut )
That Saints didn't score while Blake or Makinson were off the pitch due to their cards means they maintain their positions on the "Who is present when Saints score?" chart.
( Under the cut )
The matrix chart is back to being dark in one corner (bottom right) fading as it goes up and left.
( Under the cut )
The network graph, interestingly, doesn't quite match. Whitby and Vaughan aren't present on the network graph, and Bennison is clearly outside the "frequently plays together" central blob, while he's in the second darkest area of the matrix chart. Davies has moved the other way.
In an amusing coincidence, both matches vs Hull KR in 2024 featured Hull KR having the same number of point-scoring moments.
( Bar chart under the cut )
When do Saints concede?
The evidence for "in the last 10 minutes" is really building up.
( Underneath the cut )
Who is present when Saints concede?
( Under the cut )
Understandably, because he is also present for the most scoring moments, Blake is top of this chart. There's a large drop off until you hit Lomax in second.
The "who is present when Saints concede" matrix looks like the top left quadrant of a Roman mosaic of the sun. If nothing else, it's pretty.
I think it looks like that because of how often Blake played with some of the "second most frequently playing" cluster of players (Robertson, Davies, Ritson, Vaughan, Stephens, Paasi, Batchelor, Knowles and Bennison).
The network graph is less spread out than equivalent one for point-scoring moments, with most players being in the central blob. The players that stick out are Wingfield, Walmsley, Royle, Whitby and Burns. Although there are a ring of players that are either coming out of the main blob or being eaten by it (Knowles, Bennison, Batchelor, Vaughan, Paasi, Stephens and Davies)
( Network graph under the cut )
Weekend with cleaning
Jun. 8th, 2025 06:58 pmqueen_ypolitaMy mum and sister are going to come over for a few days towards the end of next week, so my weekend has largely been about tidying up, getting rid of junk, and figuring out what more I'll need to do next week. I also rearranged things on my desk, which wasn't really necessary for the cleaning or next week but something I'd been thinking about for a couple of weeks. The work laptop I've been using since April is a bit bigger than the older one was, so the way I had monitors and stuff set up before didn't work as well any more.
And I'll need to be on the phone to the dentists first thing on Monday. Starting from Friday afternoon, one of my molars has been super painful with any pressure on it and I strongly suspect I've got an infection at the root. Painkillers and eating very, very carefully have kept things tolerable—I don't like taking painkillers unless I really have to, and this has really been one of those times. I can't remember the last time I resorted to taking both ibuprofen and paracetamol at intervals. No idea how quickly I can be seen, but hopefully between tomorrow and Thursday. I might need to replan my office days though.
And I'll need to be on the phone to the dentists first thing on Monday. Starting from Friday afternoon, one of my molars has been super painful with any pressure on it and I strongly suspect I've got an infection at the root. Painkillers and eating very, very carefully have kept things tolerable—I don't like taking painkillers unless I really have to, and this has really been one of those times. I can't remember the last time I resorted to taking both ibuprofen and paracetamol at intervals. No idea how quickly I can be seen, but hopefully between tomorrow and Thursday. I might need to replan my office days though.
May-December (Film Review)
Jun. 7th, 2025 05:51 pmselenakWhich I would have watched on the big screen if I could have, but a brief showing time and my tight schedule did not allow it. Anyway: this is the movie in which Natalie Portman plays a (tv) actress, Elizabeth, who wants to play Gracie (Julianne Moore) in a movie based on events taking place about two decades plus earlier than the film's setting, which is 2015. (Though the film itself premiered in 2023.) Said events consisted of Gracie, at age 36, having had a "relationship" with a thirteen years old boy, Joe ,whom she after some years in prison for statuary rape married; he's currently 36 (as is Elizabeth), the same age she was back then, and played by Charles Melton, who I osmosed before this movie was mostly famous for playing a jock type in Riverdale but who is absolutely stunning in this film (and should at least have gotten an Oscar nomination), which given he's working with Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman at their best, is truly saying something. There are also kids (the one Gracie was pregnant with when she got caught is now in college, and thn there are twins about to graduate), as well as Gracie's offspring from her earlier marriage, with her son Georgie being the same age as Joe. The movie is directed by Todd Haynes, and dives right into how incredibly messed up a story this is.
Now, if you start the film knot knowing what it's about, then the first few minutes might let you assume it's a black comedy about suburbia; Gracie, Joe and their children live in the proverbial idyllic white fenced area somewhere in South Carolina, with Gracie (who runs a small scale bakery) coming across as somewhat high strung but popular among her neighbours - and then Elizabeth arrives, only to find an anonymous package at the couple's front door which contains feces. There are some comedy beats throughout the remaining movie, but actually I would classify it as emotional horror. Gracie is still absolutely incapable of admitting she ever did anything wrong, and we get an early taste of her ability to manipulate and achieve emotional control when she comments on her daughter's choice of prom dress: "You're so brave to show your arms! I wouldn't have dared", with the result that of course the poor girl doesn't buy that dress but the one Gracie likes. Elizabeth isn't the film's heroine, either, though in the first half her investigation provides the audience bit by bit with the backstory from various povs via the characters Elizabeth talks to; the movie goes full throttle about what a disturbing and ruthlessly exploitative process an actor working on a role can be if that role isn't a fictional character but a real person. (BTW, of course Portman and Moore don't look much alike, but that only helps enhancing the sense of disquiet as Elizabeth adopts more and more of Gracie's mannerisms, with the scene where Gracie gives Elizabeth a makeover with her own makeup and lipstick being a showcase in point.)
Meanwhile, Joe starts out on a quiet background note when compared to the two women, and then the story shows more and more how messed up not just the start of his relationship with Gracie was but how messed up their present day relationship still is. More than one review described Joe as a thirteen years old still locked in the body of an adult man, and before watching the film I assumed this meant Joe would be characterized as a manchild, but no, that's not what was meant at all. If anything, he's the most reasonably and responsibly acting adult in this film. But emotionally, it becomes clear he's never had the chance to process what happened, not least because his entire life is still built around keeping Gracie happy. He became a father years and years before growing up, and the scene where due to his teenage son for the first time sharing pot with him his quiet and calm facade finally cracks and some of that repressed emotion breaks through is incredibly good and heartbreaking.
Incidentally: making a movie which deals with an adult grooming a kid without getting voyeuristic with a young actor sounds near impossible - but May-December by showing us the aftermath and the long term effect everything had on Joe decades later proves it can be done. At the same time, we do get a visual reminder of just how young he was when Elizabeth gets sent video clips of teenagers auditioning to play Joe. (The audition clips don't show more than them introducing themselves with their name and age.) Elizabeth looks appalled, and the audience might think it's because it hits her how young thirteen really is.... and then a few scenes later, she's on the phone with her producer and tells him these guys are just wrong because they don't look sexy enough. Which tells you something about Elizabeth.
Despite how good this film is - with script, acting and cinematography all outstanding - , I'm not surprised it wasn't a box office success (while getting deservedly criticial praise.) It's hardly a subject lending itself to relaxation, and despite its three leads all being very attractive people, any sexual activity is basically the opposite of fanservice - like I said, it's an emotional horror show. Not something I'll rewatch any time soon, though I am glad I watched it once, and am full of admiration for what it achieves.
Now, if you start the film knot knowing what it's about, then the first few minutes might let you assume it's a black comedy about suburbia; Gracie, Joe and their children live in the proverbial idyllic white fenced area somewhere in South Carolina, with Gracie (who runs a small scale bakery) coming across as somewhat high strung but popular among her neighbours - and then Elizabeth arrives, only to find an anonymous package at the couple's front door which contains feces. There are some comedy beats throughout the remaining movie, but actually I would classify it as emotional horror. Gracie is still absolutely incapable of admitting she ever did anything wrong, and we get an early taste of her ability to manipulate and achieve emotional control when she comments on her daughter's choice of prom dress: "You're so brave to show your arms! I wouldn't have dared", with the result that of course the poor girl doesn't buy that dress but the one Gracie likes. Elizabeth isn't the film's heroine, either, though in the first half her investigation provides the audience bit by bit with the backstory from various povs via the characters Elizabeth talks to; the movie goes full throttle about what a disturbing and ruthlessly exploitative process an actor working on a role can be if that role isn't a fictional character but a real person. (BTW, of course Portman and Moore don't look much alike, but that only helps enhancing the sense of disquiet as Elizabeth adopts more and more of Gracie's mannerisms, with the scene where Gracie gives Elizabeth a makeover with her own makeup and lipstick being a showcase in point.)
Meanwhile, Joe starts out on a quiet background note when compared to the two women, and then the story shows more and more how messed up not just the start of his relationship with Gracie was but how messed up their present day relationship still is. More than one review described Joe as a thirteen years old still locked in the body of an adult man, and before watching the film I assumed this meant Joe would be characterized as a manchild, but no, that's not what was meant at all. If anything, he's the most reasonably and responsibly acting adult in this film. But emotionally, it becomes clear he's never had the chance to process what happened, not least because his entire life is still built around keeping Gracie happy. He became a father years and years before growing up, and the scene where due to his teenage son for the first time sharing pot with him his quiet and calm facade finally cracks and some of that repressed emotion breaks through is incredibly good and heartbreaking.
Incidentally: making a movie which deals with an adult grooming a kid without getting voyeuristic with a young actor sounds near impossible - but May-December by showing us the aftermath and the long term effect everything had on Joe decades later proves it can be done. At the same time, we do get a visual reminder of just how young he was when Elizabeth gets sent video clips of teenagers auditioning to play Joe. (The audition clips don't show more than them introducing themselves with their name and age.) Elizabeth looks appalled, and the audience might think it's because it hits her how young thirteen really is.... and then a few scenes later, she's on the phone with her producer and tells him these guys are just wrong because they don't look sexy enough. Which tells you something about Elizabeth.
Despite how good this film is - with script, acting and cinematography all outstanding - , I'm not surprised it wasn't a box office success (while getting deservedly criticial praise.) It's hardly a subject lending itself to relaxation, and despite its three leads all being very attractive people, any sexual activity is basically the opposite of fanservice - like I said, it's an emotional horror show. Not something I'll rewatch any time soon, though I am glad I watched it once, and am full of admiration for what it achieves.
Formula 1 2025 - Spanish Grand Prix
Jun. 7th, 2025 05:44 pmredfiona99Normally the only interesting thing about the Barcelona circuit is any upgrades to the cars. But, was it me, or was that actually an interesting race, or do I just have low expectations for the Barcelona track?
Upgrades
The upgrades themselves seem to have done nothing, McLaren are still miles ahead of the other cars, which suggest the wing flapping is not the only thing making them go faster.
Qualifying
Leclerc's race proved that you get no points for qualifying.
I, alongside most other people, wondered why the (blank) he just sat back and didn't do another lap in Q3.
I underestimated him and the Ferrari strategy team.
I think I'm being nice about the Ferrari strategy team. It feels both good and unexpected.
Mercedes:
That's two races in a row where a Mercedes engine has gone kaboom. Not good times.
Haas:
That was definitely a lurking Valtteri Bottas at Haas. I'm wondering if it's to coach Bearman or as a potential replacement for one of the drivers.
Hülkenboom
How good was Hülkenberg? 15th to 5th in a Sauber and denied 'Driver of the Day' only by the Max fan army, who are, if nothing else, fanatical about their guy.
I am just so happy for Hülkenberg.
I am hoping Audi will be good next season and then he might finally get his race podium. If he wins a race, I will be unspeakable for at least a week.
Verstappen lunacy
Running into Russell, even if he was angry because his own mistake lead to Leclerc overtaking him, was a truly idiotic move. Idiotic, and somehow more idiotic than Red Bull's tyre strategy.
When someone missing the race because they punched something in their garage (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/articles/c14kmj8rd87o) is not the most idiotic rage-induced incident during a race weekend, you know you've screwed up.
I understand Verstappen's frustration with Red Bull's tyre strategy. It was most inexplicable, and Red Bull are normally good at strategy. It's such a fall off in strategy terms that I'm wondering if someone has left from their strategy team?
There's something rotten in the state of Red Bull anyway, judging by that second car. I can believe one driver is that much better than the other but not that Verstappen is that much better than Ricciardo, Perez and Tsunoda.
Upgrades
The upgrades themselves seem to have done nothing, McLaren are still miles ahead of the other cars, which suggest the wing flapping is not the only thing making them go faster.
Qualifying
Leclerc's race proved that you get no points for qualifying.
I, alongside most other people, wondered why the (blank) he just sat back and didn't do another lap in Q3.
I underestimated him and the Ferrari strategy team.
I think I'm being nice about the Ferrari strategy team. It feels both good and unexpected.
Mercedes:
That's two races in a row where a Mercedes engine has gone kaboom. Not good times.
Haas:
That was definitely a lurking Valtteri Bottas at Haas. I'm wondering if it's to coach Bearman or as a potential replacement for one of the drivers.
Hülkenboom
How good was Hülkenberg? 15th to 5th in a Sauber and denied 'Driver of the Day' only by the Max fan army, who are, if nothing else, fanatical about their guy.
I am just so happy for Hülkenberg.
I am hoping Audi will be good next season and then he might finally get his race podium. If he wins a race, I will be unspeakable for at least a week.
Verstappen lunacy
Running into Russell, even if he was angry because his own mistake lead to Leclerc overtaking him, was a truly idiotic move. Idiotic, and somehow more idiotic than Red Bull's tyre strategy.
When someone missing the race because they punched something in their garage (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formula1/articles/c14kmj8rd87o) is not the most idiotic rage-induced incident during a race weekend, you know you've screwed up.
I understand Verstappen's frustration with Red Bull's tyre strategy. It was most inexplicable, and Red Bull are normally good at strategy. It's such a fall off in strategy terms that I'm wondering if someone has left from their strategy team?
There's something rotten in the state of Red Bull anyway, judging by that second car. I can believe one driver is that much better than the other but not that Verstappen is that much better than Ricciardo, Perez and Tsunoda.
Gym thoughts
Jun. 7th, 2025 03:24 pmredfiona99I was going to be posting about the gym anyway, but I've finally managed to go for the first time since their most recent rejig and I approve.
Do I approve just because they have given us another squat rack? Yes.
That means there are 5 separate racks where you could do squats (3 are proper full on, the other 2 I wouldn't necessarily trust max rep attempts to). Did this mean I got to do squats again? Yes, it did.
They've also instituted a lunges area, which again, yes.
Only downside is that they've got rid of the "free work" mats, well not got rid, but moved them near the circuits/classes area and that means it feels a bit more exposed.
But my weirdness not withstanding, very happy.
The original reason I was going to post about gyms was I'd left myself a note to talk about the following - "Why do the "do you even lift" bros always assume everyone in the weights area takes steroids?"
The basis for this was the two whingers at work who have since left both also went to the gym. And that's fine. But they always used to complain that everyone in the weights area must have been on steroids.
And fine, some people are.
(My view is as long as you're not taking part in a sporting event that presumes you are not now nor have you ever been on them, I don't care. Your body, your choices.)
But the examples they chose were based on the weights they lifted, and they were saying things like people with 1 rep maxes around 120-150 kg were blatantly on things and I'm like, nah, that's hard work and repetition achievable.
And I don't know if it's because I hang out with actual sports people or what that means my concept of reasonable is a bit skewed, although one of the whingers was decent level at badminton so that's not the explanation.
After some time thinking, I've decided it's likely that I'm very much of the "my competitor in the gym is me, past me and the limitations of my body on the day" school of thought* so what someone else lifts doesn't bother me, while they were both more the sort of people who compare themselves to others and we know that comparison is the thief of joy.
(*Before I sound too virtuous, I have reached this after many years of "okay, she's lifting more than me but it's only 5 reps" brainrot. Zen was only achieved in my early-mid 30s.)
Do I approve just because they have given us another squat rack? Yes.
That means there are 5 separate racks where you could do squats (3 are proper full on, the other 2 I wouldn't necessarily trust max rep attempts to). Did this mean I got to do squats again? Yes, it did.
They've also instituted a lunges area, which again, yes.
Only downside is that they've got rid of the "free work" mats, well not got rid, but moved them near the circuits/classes area and that means it feels a bit more exposed.
But my weirdness not withstanding, very happy.
The original reason I was going to post about gyms was I'd left myself a note to talk about the following - "Why do the "do you even lift" bros always assume everyone in the weights area takes steroids?"
The basis for this was the two whingers at work who have since left both also went to the gym. And that's fine. But they always used to complain that everyone in the weights area must have been on steroids.
And fine, some people are.
(My view is as long as you're not taking part in a sporting event that presumes you are not now nor have you ever been on them, I don't care. Your body, your choices.)
But the examples they chose were based on the weights they lifted, and they were saying things like people with 1 rep maxes around 120-150 kg were blatantly on things and I'm like, nah, that's hard work and repetition achievable.
And I don't know if it's because I hang out with actual sports people or what that means my concept of reasonable is a bit skewed, although one of the whingers was decent level at badminton so that's not the explanation.
After some time thinking, I've decided it's likely that I'm very much of the "my competitor in the gym is me, past me and the limitations of my body on the day" school of thought* so what someone else lifts doesn't bother me, while they were both more the sort of people who compare themselves to others and we know that comparison is the thief of joy.
(*Before I sound too virtuous, I have reached this after many years of "okay, she's lifting more than me but it's only 5 reps" brainrot. Zen was only achieved in my early-mid 30s.)
Frustrating buses at lunchtime
Jun. 6th, 2025 08:53 pmqueen_ypolitaI avoided standing an extra 20 minutes at the bus stop on my way to the supermarket at lunchtime because I checked the live tracking before I headed out. Instead, I decided to continue working for another half an hour and take the next bus, which appeared to be on time. And that worked out nicely. But on my journey home, I was rewarded by a 15-minute extra wait for the return bus, so I'm not entirely sure if not having to wait for the bus out actually helped me to avoid wasting time at all.
At least I managed to do the shopping I was intending to do. And I managed to drop off a big bagful of books at the charity bookshop. When I tried about six weeks ago, I happened to try on a day when they were busy training on the new till system and were not accepting any donations. So I took the books back home then and accumulated a few more before taking them out again today, and was relieved not to have to take them back again.
After work, I had a massage appointment, and I'm feeling relaxed and loose for a change.
At least I managed to do the shopping I was intending to do. And I managed to drop off a big bagful of books at the charity bookshop. When I tried about six weeks ago, I happened to try on a day when they were busy training on the new till system and were not accepting any donations. So I took the books back home then and accumulated a few more before taking them out again today, and was relieved not to have to take them back again.
After work, I had a massage appointment, and I'm feeling relaxed and loose for a change.
Dragged myself to the theatre
Jun. 5th, 2025 10:42 pmqueen_ypolitaTonight, I went to see National Theatre Live recording of Tennessee Williams's The Streetcar Named Desire from 2014, with Gillian Anderson as Blanche. If it had rained the same way it rained when I was coming home from the office, I would probably have stayed at home, but the rain had stopped. Even so, I procrastinated at home long enough that I needed to take the bus to town, which I hardly ever do. But I made it. The Hexagon seats were really uncomfortable for something that lasted over three hours, but it was definitely worth seeing. I thought I'd seen some version of the play before, but having now actually seen it, I'm not so sure. Maybe I've only read it, or just read about it and seen things about it. Some of it was very familiar, other parts a lot less so.
Coming home, I managed to take the bus without much waiting, but only after seeing I couldn't make it at the first possible stop, and then walking fast to the later stop on the route and hoping that the bus would linger it at a timing and sometime driver change stop the usual extra few minutes. As I managed to catch it, it presumably did—otherwise I would have been home faster by walking rather than waiting for the next bus.
Coming home, I managed to take the bus without much waiting, but only after seeing I couldn't make it at the first possible stop, and then walking fast to the later stop on the route and hoping that the bus would linger it at a timing and sometime driver change stop the usual extra few minutes. As I managed to catch it, it presumably did—otherwise I would have been home faster by walking rather than waiting for the next bus.